With no Trepidation
by starshards
Summary: “You’re afraid,” he said in a low voice, crouched upon the floor, and staring up at the face of his seated brother. “Yes,” Subaru replied. Kamui x Subaru


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Yay twincest.

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Kamui had noticed it, but said nothing. Subaru wasn't sure if his brother knew his reasoning, but as usual Kamui respected his silence on the matter. He knew after all, that it was simply a matter of being patient. Anything that they did not instinctively know about the other they would eventually find out, that much was a given. It was just a matter of figuring it out, or in more rare cases, one of them speaking up about it.

They eyed each other with a calm sort of intensity as Kamui rubbed at his hair with a towel that had once been white, but had long since faded into a dirty grey.

Water droplets scattered at the motion, Kamui's damp hair appearing to be almost black. It was a stark contrast to the towel, and Subaru watched in mild fascination as his twin worked methodically at drying his hair. Subaru clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction as Kamui made quick work of his task. He'd always loved the way that Kamui's hair stuck to his face in little curls when it was wet. It annoyed Kamui, but Subaru found that it framed his eyes more, and drew more attention to them.

Kamui breathed a small sound of approval and tossed the towel carelessly onto the bed. Leaning down, he retrieved a pair of trousers off the floor and tugged them on, before sliding on the shirt that he had found alongside them, though he did not bother to button it up.

When he looked back up, he was unsurprised to find Subaru's gaze still locked on him. Expressionlessly, he made his way around the bed and towards the chair that Subaru sat in. The room was small enough to have allowed him to comfortably sit on the bed and observe his brother, but instead, he moved to kneel before him upon the dusty, wooden floor, raising his hands to rest them upon the arm rests since Subaru's hands were folded in his lap.

He didn't ask if Subaru too wanted to bathe. He hadn't failed to notice that in the three weeks since they had made their way back to each other, the three mad and hectic weeks in which they had fled from world to world almost recklessly, as if to make up for remaining static for so long, Subaru had not bathed once.

It had rained, several times in fact, and Subaru had shown not even a flicker of hesitance in his eyes. And yet, at the end of the night when they retreated back to whatever dingy little room they'd managed to find on such short notice, Subaru would never bathe as Kamui would. Instead, he would wander into the bathroom some time after Kamui had finished and settled into bed. He would never shut the door, but rather, sit just within the bathroom, fill up a wash bucket, and scrub away the blood, the sweat, and the grime with a damp towel. On some nights, when they got over-eager and nicked the jugular just a little too much, washing the dried blood away was an arduous task, especially when it matted in his hair, and yet Subaru worked quietly and intently upon it, indifferent to the amount of time it took him.

Kamui always lay awake, waiting for him until he settled into bed beside him, ready to help Subaru before his name would have even finished leaving his lips, but Subaru was yet to call to him.

Kamui frowned at that. Last night it had rained. Fat, heavy drops had assaulted the room's flimsy windows long into the early morning. The downpour had been nothing more than background noise to Kamui as he had stared at the serene face of his sleeping twin, clinging to his hand beneath the blankets as he had for every night in those last three weeks.

It had been with a detached sort of feeling of revelation that Kamui had become aware of the rain, and had somehow figured it all out.

"You're afraid," he said in a low voice, crouched upon the floor, and staring up at the face of his seated brother.

Subaru did not look away. Neither did his gaze drop. Instead it was with a subtle droop to his eyes that guilty defeat revealed itself. The silence between the two stretched out, and for a wild moment, Kamui panicked that Subaru would not talk to him. That he would lose him again. That he would—

"Yes," Subaru replied.

"You fear entering the water," again Kamui spoke, stating rather than asking. He knew Subaru too well.

Subaru hesitated for only a moment before he broke their deep stare, sighing softly. "It's absurd. There was a power there, in that reservoir. We could feel it the moment that we got there. It didn't even have any malicious intent; it was just alien and almighty. If there were something like that here, we'd feel it. Just like before. I know this, I know but…" his voice trailed off, straining just the slightest bit. Kamui tried not to look alarmed, but Subaru must have seen it when he looked back up into Kamui's eyes. He offered a smile that usually seemed so benevolent, but now just looked weak and unsure. "I don't want to be lost again."

"Subaru—"

"What do I do if the water takes me again? What if it's for longer this time? What if I never get back to you?" Subaru interrupted, green eyes flashing wildly and hands clutching at Kamui's in a moment of lost composure. As quickly as the panic had struck, however, it had gone, leaving Subaru to slump backwards and rub tiredly at his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said wearily. "It's so utterly ridiculous, I know. It won't happen again, will it? It was just the effect of Princess Sakura's feather after all, and there are certainly none here. I'm just babbling, ignore me, Kamui."

Lonely. It had been so lonely, perhaps for the both of them. Kamui had always just assumed that Subaru had been unaware of the passing of time outside of his cocoon. He'd just assumed (or perhaps more realistically, had _hoped_) that only he on the outside had been suffering the effects of being alone.

The water had had no cruel intent towards Subaru, but if Subaru had been conscious of being trapped inside a dream, and unable to contact him, then it was simply something Kamui didn't even want to consider thinking about.

"Subaru," Kamui said softly after several silent minutes had ticked by. Subaru dropped his hands back into his lap, and gazed expectantly at his brother. "What if I was with you?" Kamui offered.

"With me?" Subaru frowned.

Kamui smiled awkwardly. "We haven't done it in a long time, but what if we took a bath together? Would you feel better that way?"

Subaru flushed, and looked away, but the small smile he was fighting to hold back denied that he was uncomfortable with the idea. He _certainly_ missed feeling clean. "We could do that?"

"I don't see why not, do you?"

Subaru was still blushing as he looked back to Kamui, but he was no longer struggling to hold back his smile. It was probably because Kamui was blushing ever- so- slightly too.

"All right."

Kamui stood, offering his hand, which Subaru gladly took, and with a firm resolve to send anything that sought to break them apart straight to Hell for their efforts, the twins made their way towards the bathroom hand in hand.

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End file.
